By Popular Demand. . .

I received quite a few emails regarding the Match handles. So, since I live to serve you, my public, here are some more noteworthy handles. And, of course, my snarky comments.

By the way, I've been feeling some distress about making fun of these men. Am I a bad person? Or do the mean-person-rules change when its for comedy? Or is it OK because, really, look at these f-ing handles, these guys were just asking to be outed on a blog?

"poptheglock17": A Glock 17 is a pistol; Glocks (not sure if its the 17 or not) are what the NYPD carries. If this guy is a cop, thats a stupid handle, and if he's not a cop, its an even more stupid handle. Is it a threat? A brag? What??

"007spy": Really? On Match.com?

"biglebowskiman": I love the Coen brothers like anyone else, but I really thought The Big Lebowski sucked. Its really a guy flick: for some reason they love the character "The Dude," and I believe its also popular with stoners. So forgive me if I can't relate to a man who chooses to describe himself as this movie.

"yodasmygrandpales": This is the most confusing one. I've decoded it to Yoda's My Grandpa, LES. LES, for non-New-Yorkers, is an acronym for the Lower East Side, a section of Manhattan. So, not only is this guy claiming, for whatever reason, that Yoda is his grandfather, but he feels the need to enhance that claim with the fact that he lives in/is from the LES. Why is this necessary? Was "yodasmygrandpa" taken? And if so, instead of re-thinking your level of creativity, you just added the LES, which really has nothing to do with your imagined family tree?

"good2betheking": No, actually, its good to have an inflated sense of self-importance and broadcast that cockiness to all the women you are trying to date.

"suddenlybright": So . . . what, you were stupid before? In a dark place? Funny, this doesn't make me want to date you.

"package_total": Oh, this is by far my favorite. Besides having arrogance above and beyond the man who thinks himself king, I'm just going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and assume that "total_package" was taken. What a tool.