Protect the baby.

So. A lot of you have asked me how it's going with Vas deferens guy, with whom I have had 2 good dates (I believe I referenced the 1st date, briefly, in the June 9th post). The second date was better than the first-- just as many laughs, great conversation, but without all the stupid weirdness there is on a first/semi-blind date. And in between those two dates and since the 2nd on until now, lots of good phone calls and text messages and emails. Forgive me, please, for saying this, but it is very apparent that he is "just that into me." And, I am into him. And, I love it when a guy makes it apparent that he is into you. But I suppose that's the definition of it. And I will give him a new nickname, since 'Vas deferens guy' is getting annoying. From now on I will call him "Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo." Hahahahaha. . . OK no. How about. . . Joe.

Here's the thing. A very dear friend of mine was given a little nugget of gold from her omniscient therapist. Said therapist reminded her that people don't reveal that they are pregnant until after the first trimester. Biologically, this is because the chances of miscarriage and the like are high in the first trimester; psychologically, it is harder for people to tell everyone they know about the pregnancy, have something happen, and then have to be all "psych!," than to just wait and say something when they are sure. The therapist coined this "protecting the baby." She then applied this to my friend's relationship, in telling her that it was very important to not talk too much about a relationship, both good and bad things, especially when the relationship is new-- essentially, to protect the baby. There is a myriad of reasons for this, according to the therapist, such as to protect the relationship from negative energy from potential nay-sayers and jealous types. Also, of course, to prevent you from having to be all 'psych!'

[Incidentally, during the course of my internet research for this blog post, I discovered that it is a matter of current and continual debate over whether 'psych' or 'sike' is the correct way to spell that. Being a studious type, I opted for the nerdier, less ghetto version, but to each their own.]

Why am I talking about protecting the baby? Because I am a deeply, deeply cynical person, who tends to believe the worst about humanity and all that jazz. I am therefore a very cautious person with being open with my emotions and so on, and am pretty sure that things will not work out the way I want them to. So I fall square into the category of people who should protect the baby for fear of having to write one giant PSYCH-titled blog post about Joe.

So that is why there is so little information on him on this blog. That alone says a lot-- as evidenced by my flagrant kiss-and-tell behavior, I have yet to protect the baby. Indeed, there have been no babies to protect. So the fact that I am even worried about telling you all the great things about him and how it's going so far for fear that it won't last shows just how into him I am.

Alas, given all that, I still like to talk, and write, and amuse, and . . . brag. I will discuss this about Joe: he has already, in 2 dates, rivalled the now-2nd-place guy in terms of treating me well. He holds open doors for me and won't let me pay for meals, but that's not what I mean. So far he has already complimented me in the most amazing ways. On physicality, he has said some unbelievable things. Bragging interlude-- these are direct quotes from text messages and/or emails: "you are a stone cold fox," "you are a wonderful example of what a woman SHOULD look like," and, "you are so ridiculously gorgeous that I get a little nervous sometimes". Come on! But more than that, he has already commented on personality traits. When I was telling him a story about how all the guys at work tease me about my voice and stuff (they think I sound like Stewart, the man-child from 'Mad TV'), he commented that it was ridiculous because I was so obviously tough. I laughed and said I talk a tough game but really am not all that tough. He said something about how he didn't doubt my physical toughness, but that he was really talking about a core of inner strength. It didn't sound nearly as hokey as it does now, I promise. And he knew I was strong and tough that way because I exude confidence, and I'm able to be so "demure" because I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Wow.

Whether or not it's true, it's a truly amazing thing to have someone-- a freaking man-- notice such non-surface things about you and tell you about them. Even more so, that someone might see something in you, and appreciate it, that you don't see in yourself (because I really would have bet my life that 'demure' would be a word never used to describe me). You know what I mean? Joe went most of the way towards a Master's in psychology because he wanted to be a therapist, and I'm pretty sure this is that coming out. The attention to nuance, the listening, the machismo that is being able to be open and honest with your feelings . . .

Lesson of the day: FUCK! I have a crush.

Apology of the day: For this being a somewhat sappy and not so funny post. Eek. If any of you ever see me with that glazed-over dopey look in my eyes, please punch me in the face.