Things I hate:
- Babies-as-flowers photography. Babies-as-anything photography,for that matter. Babies are pretty cute on their own. Why muck them up by making me want to vomit?
- Commercials that address babies. People, you have your marketing audience aaaaall wrong. The babies aren’t actually buying the diapers!! You don’t need to entice them!
- Pimps. Don't get me started
- Shredded iceberg lettuce. In salads, sandwiches, anywhere. It should not exist. Why is it so gross?
- Chewing tobacco. More gross than shredded iceberg.
Things I love:
- Infomercials where they show people having a really hard time doing normal things, like boiling water and using scissors. Such entertainment.
- Sour Patch Kids commercials, the French bull California cheese commercial ("Hello ladies, je m'appelle Bob!"), and the gibberish-talking stain Tide pen commercial.
- The smell of the supermarket coffee aisle and sulphur from recently-lit matches
- The Burger King king. Yes, he's creepy, but in the funniest way.
- Little kids falling. Actually, anyone falling. The best falls are really bad ones, which are made better when people get up really fast and look around and just sort of pretend it didn’t happen. . . . priceless.
- America's Funniest Videos (AFV). It used to be uncool, probably due entirely to Bob Saget as the host. But now it's some funny shit. If only for the 2-minute montages made up entirely of clips of people falling. I love both the montages and the fact that someone else loves it so much they make the montages
- Animals stealing stuff from unsuspecting others. My friend sent me this video and I laughed for hours. I re-wound it to watch the 3rd clip, with that utterly confused but nonchalant kangaroo, like 15 times in a row. THAT is comedy. (Also, this clip comes to us from AFV, so. Holla.)
Lesson of the day: This blog leaves out the obvious and annoying to state, such as that I hate Sarah Palin’s stoopit face and I love my friends and the way Joe giggles (he calls it “chuckling”) . . . Y'all don't need to know all that. AFV, ya needs ta know.
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4 comments:
Dude! I totally just saw a commercial where a baby, dressed as a head of iceberg lettuce, was selling chewing tobacco directly to other babies. Then, at the end of the commercial, a Sour Patch Kid dressed as a pimp came in talking about what a hard time he had pushing a grocery cart in the coffee aisle at the grocery store. The King came in, and without saying a word, offered him an E-Z Push shopping cart, for only 4 E-Z payments of $24.95!! Just as the Sour Patch Kid was about to take the cart, from out of nowhere an utterly confused but nonchalant kangaroo snatched it and split!
I was so amused I giggled. I mean chuckled.
Also, when people stand up and hit their head on something. Love.
Braids...I want props for this video !!!! I absolutely fell off my chair with the kangaroo part, isn't he the cutest thing ever EVEN!!! I want him. Also, I have to say I still love AFV and I also love a hot bath and the smell of coffee. I think the other funniest thing is watching someone drunk and unconscious get their pants taken off to put pajamas on by one of their friends...all because the pants were too dirty to sleep in ....um...
I take great hedonistic pleasure in informercials where people are unable to perform obviously simple tasks. I have tried making my own infomercials like this, but cannot match the awkwardness of the pros. My favorite may be one for the pancake flipper stovetop device. Who knew flipping a pancake was so difficult? Or messy? I am so thankful for my wrists.
http://www.perfectpancake.net/smartpancake/index.htm
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